Toward the end of May I kept saying, "Man, I wish June was over." Well, sure enough it is and today I am one month post-op. It has been a very fast month in many ways, but also one of the slowest of my life as I re-learn every little thing that I had taken for granted before. Luckily, I have had the help of loving family and friends every step of the way that has helped tremendously. I know that I am making progress, but sometimes it just seems really slow. I'm still in constant pain, although the level of pain has decreased slightly and my independence has increased slightly. I've been trying to wake up each morning with a positive attitude, excited about what new step I'll take today. (Sometimes it is easy to fall into the habit of waking up to the same monotony of recovery and thinking, "Here we go again").
When the pace of life slows down this much, it is amazing how such basic things give one joy everyday. Much of the day is spent trying to do things that one should be able to do, or sleeping, but there are things I look forward to everyday. I love walking. I was so afraid of paralysis when I first learned about the surgery that I am grateful for every step I can take, even if I still need the cane sometimes. I love when my husband comes home from work and lays by my side and strokes my hair. I love that I can sit up long enough to watch some morning television. I love taking showers (although I can't wash my hair by myself yet).
I've come a looong way. My husband was making me laugh last night (which is usually not a great idea because it turns into crying from pain), but he was retelling stories from the hospital of how pathetic I was trying to use the breathing machine and cough. Sometimes breathing is still difficult and coughing hurts like hell still, but it is better than one month ago, and next week will be better than this.
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2 comments:
This post reminds me of why I knew you'd do fine--your positive, yet realistic attitude. I'm glad to see you are healing little by little. That first month really does fly by in some ways and creeps by in others. I feel the same way about my own recovery. Sometimes, it seem like it was just yesterday I was in the hospital barely able to move. Other times, it feels like an eternity.
Anya--ditto on your post & Brandi's
I felt the same.....hang in there, Lynne
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