12 weeks post-op

An update on my exciting life. . . I can now:
a) drive
b) put on a pair of socks
c) go to the grocery store without getting the crunchy, sharp pains in my lower back that I got pre-op
d) raise my arms above my head
e) pick up a new hobby - jewelry making

One week from today I will be back at work and doctoral seminars. Eeeek. I'm scared, but excited too.

It does get better . . . .

That is what I wrote to someone on the scoliosis forum today. I remember pre-op how I wished and dreamed for the day when I could be that person giving advice and reassuring others going through the surgery that it WILL get better. Congratulations to me! :) I am.

I am 11 weeks post-op today. I go back to work and the university in 2 weeks and am kind of nervous. I'm nervous for my teaching schedule, consisting of a solid 4-hour block of classes. I'm nervous about having to tell all the newbie graduate students, "I had back surgery" when they ask me unknowingly, "So, what did you do this summer?" I'm nervous for all the adjustments that I will need to make and I am nervous about how the professors will react to me. I'm really not looking forward to stupid questions like, "So, are you all better now?" I want to educate people about this surgery, but really I find that no matter what you say, unless you are a scoli or take care of a scoli post-op, you're just not going to get it fully.

With all that being said, I am grateful that my surgery went so well (with only a few complications) and that I have the ability to go back and continue on with my life, hopefully for the better. Would I say that I made the right choice by having surgery? I'm not at the point where I can say that confidently because of the pain and trials I'm still experiencing, but I DO know that one day soon, I will be able to tell you that I made the right choice. For now all I can say to any scolis straight out of surgery or those considering it, it does get better. I promise!

I'm a Survivor

I was talking to my husband last night about being a "scoli survivor," to which he replied, "no, you're a scoli sufferer. Survivors are people who have conquered cancer, for example." While I completely agree that people who overcome diseases which can lead to death are survivors in the most literal sense, we scolis are also survivors.

I am a survivor because:

I came out of my teenage years with a sense of self esteem and became a strong young woman despite the teasing from peers about my scoliosis, the rude comments, and the awkward situations.

I finally learned that scoliosis does not define who you are, but can make you a much more compassionate and understanding person.

I learned to be strong after every x-ray that showed more and more progression and believed that I would overcome it.

I've spent the last 15 years living with pain every single day of my life and have not let it define me or stop me from doing most things I want to do. Most people cannot understand that.

I cried for 3 months after finally realizing it was surgery time. I took my time to grieve for what I then considered my "failed hardwork" for the last 15 years, and then acknowledged that this surgery was going to change my life for the better.

I waited over a year for this surgery, which was one of the most emotionally difficult times of my life, but by the time surgery came around, I was absolutely prepared and felt strong.

I spent 10 days in the hospital having procedures done to me with so much pain that I don't even want to write about them here.

I can't tell you how much I've been through physically (and emotionally) over the last 9 weeks (but I'm sure you fellow scolis understand). It takes a survivor to wake up every morning and battle the daily tasks that were once so easy and now you have to relearn and take at least twice as long.

There have been many times in the past 9 weeks where I've felt like giving up from the pain and the trials of recovery, but I have not and I've gone ahead and now smile at how far I've come.

That's just a few reasons why I and my other fellow scolis are survivors.