Hmm, well today and yesterday have been kind of bad "what if" days. I don't like "what if" days where I think about what could go wrong with surgery. My husband and my mom yell at me when I start doing this and I know it does absolutely no good at all. I guess my current fear is the fear of having nerve damage. I know in my heart that I will still be able to walk after surgery, but I get scared thinking about any degree of nerve damage. Playing around with the spinal cord is no monkey business you know.

So today I met with my wonderful advisor who pretty much assured me that the faculty was going to support me going through surgery. I was planning on taking my doctoral exams this spring but it is just too much going through surgery too. I'm trying to cut down on the anxiety in my life. So I can wait another year and study while I recover. Wonderful! I'll need to do something to keep myself occupied because I'm not the type of person to just sit around. Yes, I know, this surgery is a great lesson in patience too.

Ok, hopefully no more "what ifs" tonight. Back to work and a nice cup of tea!