I was on the bus on my way home today when an older man decided to verbally attack a group of teenage girls right in front of me. I won't repeat what he said, but it seemed to come out of the blue for no apparent reason. We were all in shock and I was trying to think of what to do when he stepped off the bus and said if we said anything he would slap us in the face. The poor girls were frightened, and then they got mad. I told them they should report this, but how are you going to catch the guy when he left the bus and went out of sight? I took a good long look at his face and have to figure out what to do if I see him again. I am so angry and so saddened by this incident. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Why can bad people get away with these things? Where's the justice?
Then I get home and receive an email from a problem student who wants to meet with me to explain what a difficult time he is having this semester. He didn't come for the exam today and skipped out on his presentation. Quite frankly after the VT incident and because I've caught this person in lies before, I don't trust him. I don't think he is crazy or anything. I guess I'll have to tell him that this is a difficult life lesson. When faced with struggles, which we all go through, we have several options on how to handle our lives and what choices we make, and unfortunately for him, he has made the wrong ones. I have another student whose mother passed away this semester (a complete tragedy) and is handling life much better. The whole thing is just stressing me out. I'm sure he will try to appeal to my more nurturing, feminine side, but that is just not going to work. My syllabus is quite clear, and I don't tolerate this kind of behavior.
And my final rant . . . this is the last week that I don't have anything scheduled for my surgery. Next week I start blood donations for 3 weeks in a row, and then I have some pre-op appointments. Eeeek. Oh, and my mom was hospitalized last night, but is doing ok now. It was just a colon infection, which antibiotics will kill, but I was scared.
One more rant (apparently the last one wasn't the final) . . . I tried to get some earrings converted to clip yesterday. (I had my ears pierced and then they got really infected and I haven't got them pierced again. I want to, but obviously right before surgery is not a good idea, but I needed these earrings for my sister-in-law's wedding). The lady in the store starts hounding me about not getting my ears pierced now, which leads me into a brief explanation that I'm having surgery this summer. She asks what surgery. (I guess I don't mind a complete stranger being nosy). Then she asks, "Will you be ok?" My answer: "I better be." What kind of question is that. What was I supposed to answer, "no, I'm doing this because I don't think it will help. . . " enough sarcasm.
That's all for now. This week we celebrate my sister-in-law's wedding. How exciting. I'm thrilled to be with my family (especially since there are so many Hokies who need hugs). I'll hopefully have exciting stories to share, as well as funny and probably inconsiderate things family members say about my upcoming surgery. :)
Monday, April 23, 2007
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
tragedy
I don't feel like I can write much. It has been a long two days. One side of my family lives in the New River Valley area and are Hokies. I thank God that my sister-in-law's friend escaped one of the classrooms where the shooting took place. However, that does not change the utter despair and tragedy that everyone is feeling, especially those with ties to the Virginia Tech community.
Hokies will prevail! We love you and pray for all your families.
Hokies will prevail! We love you and pray for all your families.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Because Silence is Costly
My title phrase is taken from the poet, Audre Lorde, but I have a reason for using it (besides the fact that I had to read some of her work for one of my seminars).
Scoliosis is a silent disability. It is one that often we can hide easily and that when we do try to talk about it, no one understands us. The Red Cross called me today to schedule my blood donations - I guess it is becoming real. The only way to attempt to let people into your world and understand is to talk.
I've spent over 15 years dealing with scoliosis, and I would say that I have been silent about it for at least 10-11 years of those. I've decided to start telling my story in pieces.
I was diagnosed when I was 13 after going into the doctor twice complaining about back pain. At that time it was 29 degrees and I was not initially braced. I went to an artsy middle school, which also had an exchange program in Japan that year. Shortly after I was diagnosed with scoliosis I went to Japan for a month to study and I remember carrying around these huge backpacker's bags and hurting even back then. My teachers who went with me could not give a crap about my newly diagnosed condition and pretty much told me to suck it up, although we all know that carrying around 50 plus pounds can do more damage than good. I think it was partly because of this experience that I learned asking for help or letting people know that I hurt did me no good.
In high school, I did not want anyone to know that I had scoliosis. The only problem with that was that my doctor told me I could not take P.E. class. Instead I took dance class. One girl, Miranda, said to me, "I wish I had scoliosis so I didn't have to take P.E." Those words still haunt me until this day, although I've done my best to forgive her ignorance and insensitiveness - we were only teenagers. However, I never talked about my scoliosis, and I did many things wrong. However, I moved heavy objects when people asked me to because otherwise I would have to admit I was different, and those volatile teenager years are no time to admit difference! :)
I was on the swim team to help control my scoliosis and never thought that my scoliosis hindered my swimming in anyway. I received the Noah Wolfson Award my sophmore year, which is an award given in memory of Noah Wolfson who was a swimmer and died of cancer at a young age. At the award ceremony the coach told all the guests that even though I had scoliosis, I never let it stop me from achieving my goals and perservered through pain and trial. Lovely story, huh? I was humiliated!! I could not believe that this person thought it was okay to tell everyone about this hidden curve on my back. Aw, to be young and a stupid teenager. I do appreciate the award now.
Only two of my friends dealt with me in my brace. Those two precious friends who have stood by me for all this time are coming out to take care of me this summer for a few days! Well, I think this blog is long enough (probably too long if you have read all this way). I will write another installment later.
Scoliosis is a silent disability. It is one that often we can hide easily and that when we do try to talk about it, no one understands us. The Red Cross called me today to schedule my blood donations - I guess it is becoming real. The only way to attempt to let people into your world and understand is to talk.
I've spent over 15 years dealing with scoliosis, and I would say that I have been silent about it for at least 10-11 years of those. I've decided to start telling my story in pieces.
I was diagnosed when I was 13 after going into the doctor twice complaining about back pain. At that time it was 29 degrees and I was not initially braced. I went to an artsy middle school, which also had an exchange program in Japan that year. Shortly after I was diagnosed with scoliosis I went to Japan for a month to study and I remember carrying around these huge backpacker's bags and hurting even back then. My teachers who went with me could not give a crap about my newly diagnosed condition and pretty much told me to suck it up, although we all know that carrying around 50 plus pounds can do more damage than good. I think it was partly because of this experience that I learned asking for help or letting people know that I hurt did me no good.
In high school, I did not want anyone to know that I had scoliosis. The only problem with that was that my doctor told me I could not take P.E. class. Instead I took dance class. One girl, Miranda, said to me, "I wish I had scoliosis so I didn't have to take P.E." Those words still haunt me until this day, although I've done my best to forgive her ignorance and insensitiveness - we were only teenagers. However, I never talked about my scoliosis, and I did many things wrong. However, I moved heavy objects when people asked me to because otherwise I would have to admit I was different, and those volatile teenager years are no time to admit difference! :)
I was on the swim team to help control my scoliosis and never thought that my scoliosis hindered my swimming in anyway. I received the Noah Wolfson Award my sophmore year, which is an award given in memory of Noah Wolfson who was a swimmer and died of cancer at a young age. At the award ceremony the coach told all the guests that even though I had scoliosis, I never let it stop me from achieving my goals and perservered through pain and trial. Lovely story, huh? I was humiliated!! I could not believe that this person thought it was okay to tell everyone about this hidden curve on my back. Aw, to be young and a stupid teenager. I do appreciate the award now.
Only two of my friends dealt with me in my brace. Those two precious friends who have stood by me for all this time are coming out to take care of me this summer for a few days! Well, I think this blog is long enough (probably too long if you have read all this way). I will write another installment later.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
2 months
My surgery is 2 months from today! Eeeekk. I know it is the beginning of a new life, but this is scary. My wedding anniversary is right before my surgery and my husband asked me last night what I wanted to do, and I couldn't even answer because it is so close to surgery that I don't even want to think about it.
On a positive note, our new home is coming along great! My husband played electrician yesterday and installed 2 new light fixtures. Woo hoo - they work! He had never done anything like that before. Now we have a few big holes in the bathroom where ugly cabinets used to be, so we're in the middle of a mini-remodeling project that will hopefully be done this week.
On a positive note, our new home is coming along great! My husband played electrician yesterday and installed 2 new light fixtures. Woo hoo - they work! He had never done anything like that before. Now we have a few big holes in the bathroom where ugly cabinets used to be, so we're in the middle of a mini-remodeling project that will hopefully be done this week.
Monday, April 02, 2007
Our New Home!
Woo hoo - my husband and I are finally in our new home! We have this horrible trend though of moving in inclement weather. When we moved to Richmond, VA we got all of our stuff in 1/2 hour before Hurricane Hugo hit and flooded downtown. When we first moved to Madison, the day after tornados hit Stoughton and wiped out the town (20 miles or so outside of Madison). So, this time when we moved, we did so in a HUGE storm with thunder and lightning, and the tornado sirens going off constantly. However, we had 8 people helping us who were true troopers and kept a smile on their faces even though they were absolutely soaked to the bone! I fed them well with pizza and beer though.
It took over an hour to try to get our couch into the condo! That is the picture I posted! Luckily, our beautiful red couch finally made it with a few red scratches on our newly-painted walls. Well, needless to say, I have completely over-pushed myself in the last couple of days, and boy is my back paying for it. I have a massage therapy appointment tomorrow, so hopefully that will help. My friends were very kind in helping us to move and making sure I didn't hurt myself - unfortunately my back is bad enough that even though I have not moved anything heavy, the whole process (walking around, moving a few things, organizing the kitchen, etc.) was enough to do me in. We still have a lot more to do on the house, but it is looking good. I'm so excited!!!
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